Dunbar Memorial Garden

And James blogs:

"Today led to the continuation of several of our currently ongoing projects: the ever present weeding, sanding of the former hands-across-america table, and just tending to our beautiful garden. Our crew today consisted of our fearless leaders Becky and Jerome, several Sisterhood members- Jackie Chance and Anna Kiluba- as well as Natalia Truszczynski , Sarah Weck, Tyler Bronaugh and Beth Byers all home from college, Audrey Linville and her mother, Joyce Crawford, Grace Reida, Jessica Zanellato, Chris Barnett, and myself.

Between Grace and the Sisterhood members, the former table was sanded and a coat of primer was put on. It may have taken three weeks, but the table is finally almost ready for full painting. Jerome, with help from Grace, Beth, and Tyler, restained both of our stained tables and then put finish coats on them, making them ready for yet another year.

With permission- finally- from our lovely school's administration, myself, Grace, Jessica, and Chris all headed down the hill and filled up two buckets of sand, which we then promptly carted up the hill- good lawd, those things were HEAVY. It took Jessica AND Chris just to get the second bucket up the hill. They pulled weeds from the beginning of the path, and sand was put down and brushed in as we went.

The rest of the crew spent time out in the beds with their weed pullers and hand shovels, yanking out our accursed/beloved weeds. Work on an in ground butterfly puddling area began with some more of our hauled up sand.

A fairly relaxed day in all, with plenty done on the current projects.

I think that those of us no longer here would be proud."

Due to a chance of rain that did happen about 8am, we didn't expect anyone to show at the garden today. Jesse's dad and I went because we always will and because we'd checked the radar on Intellicast and decided the morning shower was all the rain for the day.

The garden was peaceful and beautiful when we arrived and we decided to move a few plants and pull some weeds. Wonderfully, several of the awesome "Sisterhood" showed up to work on the picnic table (and some glitter magic) as did Josh sporting a new hair cut. He talked and entertained me while I labeled several of our newest garden additions namely, a HUGEMONGOUS bur oak (to replace "Foreboding" - our bare root transplant that didn't survive) donated by Springhouse Gardens.

Hannah's parents also had three lovely fringetrees and three shining sumacs planted by Springhouse around the wooden benches - the perfume of the fringetrees wafted about us and everyone noticed.

While our volunteer crowd was small, and the temps got hot, we managed to get a lot done along with some wonderful conversation. Anna talked about how she loves the hot weather and shared a story about her grandparents visiting from Africa and how it snowed and they asked "Is this the end of the world?" So now their story becomes a part of the garden and their granddaughter, a student at Dunbar, has afforded us the chance to celebrate her heritage. Of the many "things" that make me smile about this sacred space, the diverse groups of students participating in it together makes me proudest for Jesse, for Hannah, for Josh.

The picnic table is now ready for a coat of primer and several plants were relocated. We pulled some weeds, ate some burrito's and sent Josh off on his bicycle to visit Chris. After the garden Jerome and I FINALLY managed to stop by Landscaper's Corner and meet the incredible Elaine Pence who donated a huge load of compost to us back in June of 2007 (and a major reason why the plants are doing so incredibly well). One of her employees is a Dunbar graduate and we were thrilled to meet Matthew and to thank Elaine. We are kind of slow but we do remember everyone who has helped in this work. And that's a very long list!

<3 Jesse's Mom

We dedicated our work at the Garden to Hannah - who has been gone from us for one year this week. Hannah loved and protected the garden even when she wasn't working in it. She laughed and cried, carried pavers, moved mulch, raked soil and occasionally spread out on a picnic table in the shade to just be. Hannah's handprints are all over that sacred space and while she will forever be a part of it, working in her name this Saturday allowed us to not only remember her but to honor what she did and how she did it. We love you, Hannah!

About 20 people showed up and while there had been rain in the forecast, we had a perfect day for weeding and playing. It was a wonderful mix of old friends and new ones and while there was a minor issue getting back to the garden (a district track tourney was being held at Dunbar), most of us managed to maneuver our way through the pylons and youngsters to be together. We put out a dozen purple balloons and most everyone wore something purple for Hannah and after hugs and chitchat we got down to business. Namely, pulling weeds and an assortment of sunflowers whose seeds were spread by the birds and wind.

James set up work on the picnic table that is being refurbished and had a little help from Suzy, Grace and Jerome scraping and wire brushing. Tag teams were formed in the garden - Hannah's dad with help from Audrey, Sandy, Rose, and Tyler set off in the left bed while Elizabeth, Ariel, Sarah,Beth, Austin and Trent buried themselves in the sunflowers. We had a furry, four-footed source of great entertainment in "Chewy" - Ariel and Trent's adorable pooch who decided that he would pop every balloon in the garden - and almost did. He spun circles around us all and while he pulled no weeds he made up for his lack of a work ethic by sheer energy levels. Seth sauntered up on break from Berea College - a n00bie to the garden but certainly a wonderful and well-appreciated addition.

Sarah and her mom brought some beautiful annual flowers purchased from the Dunbar Band's Plant Sale so Sarah proceeded to fill up every empty container with yellows, pinks and purples. Trent and Austin helped her create a sweet area around our "Anonymous Dogwood" and then they mulched it down for good measure. By the time the noon hour struck and while the clouds started rolling in and threatening rain, we'd managed an incredible morning and the garden looked AWESOME. Carol showed up with a handful of pink, purple and yellow butterfly decorations that were placed around the garden and we all hugged our way back out again - and carefully drove through the track crowd.

While I stand proud, amazed and humbled each time we collect together to do this work, today was a particularly beautiful day with a particularly beautiful group of people who all seemed connected in a very particularly wonderful way. When Jesse's dad said to me later "What a great group at the garden today" I could do no more than agree.

Dear Hannah,
I hope you saw us there.
<3
Jesse's Mom

In Kentucky they say if you don't like the weather stick around, it will be totally different tomorrow and this week has been no exception. After 80plus degree temps last week things cooled off as the rain moved in but every forecaster had a different opinion for what our 2nd work session Saturday would bring. Luckily, Ms. Eller - Dunbar's pottery instructor - gave us a fall back plan to work in her room on the ceramic tiles we've been making.

All this rain was supposed to pound through the area yesterday but by late afternoon the skies were kind of clear and the temps were nice so I took a risk and wondered out to the garden in the 5:00pm Friday afternoon rush hour traffic (I'm a whiz sometimes). But, I am glad I went and packed a few empty plant flats because the conditions were perfect for digging up some "narrow leaved" (also known as "lance leaved") goldenrod, a bit of oxeye sunflower and a few large stalks of Sarah's ever-spreading bee balm. The bee balm and sunflowers made the transition easily but the goldenrod is still a little droopy today so we'll just have to wait and see how accepting it is of transplanting.

Several plants were in bloom including the vibrant bright colored "wild pinks" and the London Grove blue phlox. The Cranberry Viburnum and the Chokeberries looked awesome. I spotted the shoots of the 2nd butterfly milkweed (an incredible plant that I just read should be displayed as a specimen in a premo spot) and while I considered moving it while I was there, just got too nervous and opted out. The indigo's (both white and blue) are growing in leaps and bounds and since this is their second year we should have some gorgeous flowers this season.

Due to my "whiz-dom" I left the camera at home but am hopeful that sometime this week we can get some new pics posted on the website at www.jessehigginbotham.com/garden.html.

So, back to today - our 2nd work date in 2009. This morning the skies were gray and obviously we'd had rain overnight which made sanding work on the picnic table impossible. While I poured some coffee a steady drizzle started and I new, I mean "knew," that our work today would have to take place indoors. James and Jerome showed up about 9:30am informing me that there would be no training lab for Mindtriggerz as the park shelter had been promised to another entity :(

So we sat and chatted and ate a little breakfast and then James and I headed out to Dunbar to post signs at the garden about moving indoors to Ms. Eller's room. While there two students showed up and I got a call from Natalia and we all headed around front to go "be artistic."

In the course of the next couple of hours we had about 15 people come in and out working on either creating new designs on tiles or painting glaze on the ones that had been bisque fired. Ms. Eller's incredible daughter Lily, aged 5, provided us with much entertainment and instruction. She moved around the pottery lab in a fashion that reminded me of Jesse - totally at ease, totally "owning" the place, offering her advice and working on her own project. We had several Beta's show up including Ellidia (who dragged in late and looked a bit under-rested but had a generous donation for the Trust) along with members from the Sisterhood including Jackie who was accompanied by her beau, the handsome Kendrell who is getting ready to graduate from Spencerian as the first recipient of the Jesse Higginbotham Scholarship. After obtaining his degree in CAD - his plans include continuing his education at UK and studying architecture. It was a great treat for me to get to see him again.

While I missed digging in the dirt today it was a super cool crowd and I think everyone had fun. We are uber-excited to have more tiles to install in the garden and I know that with the addition of all these other new faces the reason and purpose of why we do what we do will continue to spread and grow like the showy sunflowers.

Oh and lest I forget the Claymation of James, well he did this really cool tile but when he went to make his second he managed to drop kick it or something and well the backside was a mess. He salvaged it with a little clay magic and a beautiful stamped pattern and it was in fact, all good.

We are aspiring for good weather next Saturday as we dedicate our work at the garden to Hannah Landers who would definitely want us outside in the sunshine - where she was so many times, laughing and talking and working and sometimes just "hanging." Oh yeah, and bossing us around. May 6th will mark the passage of one year since we lost Hannah in an auto accident and it's difficult to talk about her without crying and missing her so much. But next Saturday we are donning something purple for her and working as she would at the garden, with our friends.

Forever loved, forever remembered - Josh, Jesse, Hannah. <3

Jesse's Mom

The last couple of weeks I've had the great pleasure of meeting with several Dunbar clubs as we continue to rally support for our efforts at the Dunbar Memorial Garden. A new club at Dunbar this year the "Sisterhood" is a collective of young women with the ominous goal of not only improving the quality of life for women, but also the community as a whole.

When I contacted Jackie, the groups' president, I was certainly not aware of all the connections we shared. Jackie not only knew Jesse from middle school but just so happens to be dating the young man who received the first Spencerian College "Jesse Higginbotham" scholarship in 2007. About a dozen members met me at the garden and we talked about how they might help. They've taken on the task of refurbishing one of the picnic tables at the garden and have also volunteered to help create ceramic tiles to be used as art in the straw bale benches.

On Thursday I met with the Beta Club and was ill-prepared for Ellidia handing me a microphone to talk to a group of about 80 plus students about the garden and the Mindtriggerz Project. Thankfully, Mr. Richardson was on hand to share information about the computers. James has been about the most steadfast young man I think I've ever met, and while he may claim he had an aftershock of nerves, he did a beautiful job of detailing what we are trying to accomplish in Jesse's honor and name.

James spent the early morning today helping Jesse's dad set up the Mindtriggerz teaching lab at Cardinal Valley Park. I picked him up to go to the garden at about 9:30am. It is an unwritten rule that we never know what to expect as far as volunteers are concerned but we had packed all our tools and sanding equipment knowing at least a few of the Sisterhood members would be there to start on the picnic table. When we arrived at the garden near 10am, there were only a couple of us unloading the truck. By 10am close to 30 people had arrived including a large number of Beta's as well as one of our favorite new groups, the "No day but today" club, founded in honor of Hannah Landers.

While James demonstrated use of the sanders, scrapers and other tools for the table, I asked the others to help edge the pathways. Luckily, Tyler showed up on a weekend pass from EKU and was able to take over as lead instructor on how to clear a paver. Several other Dunbar graduates arrived including Austin (who is often stalked by monster sized bees) and Beth - a young woman attending UK whose dad has been a great contributor to Mindtriggerz and that I ever so luckily have begun to know via correspondance on Facebook. While Sarah's sister slept, her mom came too - always at the ready with her own weed digger!

Of course, we were thrilled with the turnout - 98.75% of the garden is now edged, in an environmentally friendly fashion (aka "hands") and the picnic table should be ready to prime after just a bit more sanding. Several ceramic tiles were created and me, well, I got absolutely nothing done for greeting, talking, directing and hugging. Special thanks to Dunbar teachers Ms. Davis (Beta club sponsor and all-around incredible person) and Ms. Anderson who came by to bring us about a dozen sunflower stakes. Oh and Louanne's mom who donated a big mass of Autumn Glory Sedum that we immediately placed in the rain barrel planter and of which there is no doubt it will be happy.

The plants at the garden are spreading beautifully - and prolifically - and while I am still amazed by the young people who come to work there who have never walked through it, in a school as large as Dunbar, I should not be surprised but still am. Among the many stories and comments shared today, learning that teachers vie for the chance to hold class out there, well, that was about the coolest. It continues to be our labor of love - and it was so good to be there today in the sun (even with the 80 degree heat), among old friends and new ones.

"Thank you" seems the most futile of phrases - it can't begin to express our <3.

Among the "sad mom and dad" club of which noone wants to be a member, there is a plethora of advice shared about those "hardest" dates. Birthdays and the day that marked the end of our old normal lives. We are told to plan something, anything and then have a backup plan that includes the potential of simply falling into a puddle of our own tears.
Everyone is different, everyone reacts in their own way. Everyone is allowed to do whatever it is that will simply help get through that day.

I planned to work at the garden on April 18th - the date of Jesse's accident and had every intention of simply wearing myself out pulling weeds, digging plants. I didn't have a "Plan B."

Many weeks ago, April and I had bumped into Colleen - a former classmate from both Leestown Middle and Dunbar High, a friend of Jesse's who had travelled with us to Italy in 2004. We distracted her from her work and discussed her upcoming graduation as a massage therapist. She gave me her clinic schedule and I had every intention of calling for an appointment but it was just one more thing on my list of "to-do's" that fell between the cracks. When I finally remembered, the only date Colleen had available according the receptionist was April 18th. After a long pause I took it - there was something fortuitous about that being her "only opening."

On the way to my appointment, Linda called - she's been a great friend to the garden posting information of our work in the Dunbar Enews among so many other things. She's become a great friend period. Her son needed some community service hours and she wondered if I might be at the garden later in the day. She turned my attention, handed me a distraction and I am thankful for that call because as I entered the Lexington Healing Arts Academy, I was able to do so without tears.

Colleen performed miraculous work - she had a box of Kleenex at the ready but I think because of her connection to Jesse - I didn't need it. We talked some while she worked and she pinpointed the muscle in my back causing me the most pain and wrote down notes and suggestions. As I left she told me to drink more water and handed me a card with explicit instructions not to read it until I got home.

As I started gathering up the gear to take to the garden April appeared. She helped me pack up then we both drove out to Dunbar. A beautiful chalk drawing on the sidewalk greeted us - Jesse's name and how he will never be forgotten. Adults could stand to learn a few things from their younger counterparts. Compassion as an act, instead of an afterthought.

We'd barely begun work when others started arriving. Linda and her son pulled a boat load of weeds, then pruned back the remainder of the grasses. They also did a bit of correcting of the wooden benches while others came by. As the day progressed, Sarah and James came to help as did Jesse's best friend Jon. Joyce, having helped Jerome with the Mindtriggerz Training lab all morning showed up in time to remind me of all the butterflies we'd seen last summer. She asked about the butterfly milkweed and I showed her the marker for it but said "I just haven't seen it emerging yet" - so we both bent to the ground and I uncovered some mulch and there it was: bright green tendrils stretching for the sky.

Sarah helped me dig sunflowers for a potential native plant sale, April cleaned all the picnic tables with the help of James. I saw them sitting in the shade, backs propped against the school building and wondered at how many times Jesse might have done the same and Hannah. We worked and stopped and started and stopped again and they got me through the day. They touched me and patted me when I cried and they ran through the garden with wild abandon on such a particularly beautiful day at such a particularly beautiful place. They laughed and goofed off. They remembered.

The garden is a safe place for them as it is for me. It continues to be our labor of love no matter who shows up to work or even why. Whether they knew Josh or Jesse or Hannah or Ross or any of the other great kids who surely must surround us somehow while we are there because it's never been a sad place to be. It is "our place" to be. Every day we are there it's even more beautiful. Every day we are there together it is a comfort. With every weed we pull and all the mulch we move and every silly thing that's said, we remember. That is the thing that makes it worth the labor. That we always remember, and care enough to do so together.

When all that is the culmination of our memories and love gather in one specific space, there are no words to describe it. The flowers return along wtih the butterflies and birds and bees. And the people - that's the best part, the people who might continue the work of those who left us too soon.

They are loved. Never forgotten. And one day I will have my flashing lolcube for Jesse. One day.
<3

This afternoon amid a strong breeze and cooler temperatures, a sign was planted in our latest mulch pile reading "Property of the Dunbar Memorial Garden." As we near our first official work date of April 25th there are many lists to be made and subsequently lost (j/k) and many contacts to be re-made, many things to be done.
Ellidia - the eternally wonderful president of Dunbar's Beta Club stopped by to visit and allow me to rant on about what we want to do this year, about her wonderful scholarship to Vandy, about the plans that are perpetually evolving and changing - of which her participation for the past two years has been a kind of saving grace.

We really love Ellidia and will miss her as she graduates this year - not just for her support of the garden and mindtriggerz but for her exuberance and compassion and her ability to make us laugh! She will most definitely be a force to reckon with at Vandy. Yesterday most of our native grasses got pruned back and green shoots were seen sprouting below. On Saturday afternoon with assistance from Josh, Joyce and James, we unloaded a couple of truck loads of mulch Jesse's dad and I picked up that morning. It was good to be in the sunshine amid the laughter and will be good to get back to working there together again.

During Spring Break on an afternoon when I surely clocked 6 hours at the garden pulling onion grass and dandelions, transplanting and giving away several flats of native sunflowers - I went to dump my bucket of weeds and spotted my first goldfinch of the year. Yellow is Jesse's "color" so of course the goldfinch has become my favorite bird. The little guy was just chirping away in a tree close by so I responded in his non-native language: "hey buddy, what's up with you?" His response was to fly closer and land with two of his friends in a tree in front of my face. I stood there for a moment then turned and walked away because I wasn't seeing them clearly anymore due to tears.

Most of the bereaved parents I know look for signs in nature for their kids so I know I'm not alone in this. Many of the kids while working in the garden will look to the sky and when they spot a buzzard will wave at "Tevis." In various photos taken during work sessions a mysterious pink "orb" is seen - we attribute that to Josh who loved the color pink.

For almost two years now I have been unable to do any garden work at my own home - something that prior to losing Jesse was a source of passion and great therapy for me. After working all day at the garden and spotting those birds I decided to try. I planted a few of the native sunflowers along with a rattlesnake master in my backyard. It was hard but I managed. As I stood there considering this altered landscape I noticed one single bright pink tulip. I'd planted many tulips many years ago but this guy was the only one that sprouted. I stood there thinking of Josh and hoping it was a "sign" from him or for him? When I turned around there sitting in my basement window was the single survivor of a triptych of primroses Jesse had given me for Mothers Day in 2006. Two of the plants died during the early weeks following Jesse's accident and when I finally noticed, I made it a mission to do whatever I could to save the last one and yes, that was a struggle. I tried every spot in the house, every chemical I could find but it struggled and struggled until finally this winter I just put it in the sunniest window of the house and asked it to please keep trying. It did, and when I looked at it that evening a perfect yellow flower had blossomed. If I hadn't been where I was doing what I was at the time, I would have never seen it.

I will always struggle with these "signs" and my hopes that they are real. The young ones that gather around help a lot with that because they do believe and I am thankful to them for that almost more than anything else. They KNOW the energies of Josh, Jesse and Hannah are still here. I can't imagine surviving without them. <3